Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Nothing tastes as good as being myself feels.

Back in college, we girls on our sorority floor would tattoo our fridges with pics of models or us in our high school days and quote the saying, "Nothing tastes as good as being this Skinny feels".  Well, that's all good and great and an excellent mantra/ deterrent from the fridge in normal time, but tell that to my bagel pizza craving, beer chugging, White Castle Hasselhoffing, late-night pizza dominating, slurring, over-indulged in the spirits self.  Yeah, didn't go over too well and I most definitely gained the freshman 15.  Yikes.  Don't even get me started of what I gained after dating Brad Thomas.  Then marriage?  And a baby?!?  Game over.
It must be said that I am fully cognizant that being fit is no joking matter, but it must also be said that being stick thin as in model status?  Not happening for this chick.  No way, no how.

 These are what I had on my fridge...

First things first, I am all of 5ft nothin', give or take an inch or two...barely tall enough to ride rides at amusement parks.  Okay...a teensy exaggeration there, but you catch my drift.  I'm height challenged.  I have stubby arms, legs, feet, hands and yes, I finally admit it.  I have finally come to terms with my nickname of "Stubbs" lovingly adorned upon me by my oh-so-very gracious friends back in middle school.  It was and remains to be divine.  Happy Rach?  Suz?  Beej?  Worm? Tootle?  The rest of the crew?  You all should be most happy to know that most of my students' hands each year are longer than mine.  They're 8, 9, and 10.  It reeeeeally ups my cool factor.  Needless to say, modeling agencies will not be dialing me up anytime soon.

I digress.
Anywhoooo, what you must also know is that I have a muscular build...always have.  I was a competitive gymnast for 6 years and cheered from 3rd grade all the way through high school and beyond.  We worked out with our football players in high school, had intensive conditioning and training, 3-day a week aerobic sessions, and two-a-day practices...ON TOP of practice where we held/ threw girls in the air, tumbled, and danced for 2-3 straight hours.  It was rough and I had no need to watch what I ate because I was burning something crazy in the caloric department each and every day.  Yet I still did.  I remember hiding my size 2s in the back of my closet when I went to college because I was so ashamed I was no longer a '0'.  Now?  I can't fit my right thigh in the double leg of a '2'.   These boobs aren't helping matters either.

What's the point of this post? Well, it must be said that I have come to terms that I will no longer be that 117lb college freshman Abby with a flat stomach and hard booty.  I know I must get myself back in shape and my goal is the Abby of when B and I started dating and after the freshman 15 and a little some...but not much.

THESE are more of what I'm going for.  Circa 2007 and 2008...when B and I were engaged and about to be or were already married...

In the meantime, I HAVE compiled a list of things that ARE better than being skinny feels (which coincidentally, have been my deterrent for not having lost all the baby weight yet)...

  • Red, Hot and Bleu fries (there was this grill at WKU that made these Arby's like curly fries and topped them with buffalo sauce and bleu cheese crumbles - can I get a hoooo-rah!  Hangover domination...BOOM.
  • McDonald's, Sonic's. or Chick-fil-A's sweet tea
  • NY hotdog from Sonic
  • Winchester Rally's Ale8.  Like wow...nectar of the Gods.  I honestly don't know what they do to it, but it's like heaven in a cup.
  • Rally's fries
  • My Mama Suz's homemade cheesecake
  • Ribs
  • Medium thin crust Domino's Pizza
  • BBQ Baked potatoes at UK games (from Sonny's BBQ)  um, AMAZE. 
  • My own baked spaghetti (it's a heavenly conglomeration of spaghetti, sauce, several cheeses, pepperoni, Italian sausage, and some other secret ingredients)
  • Chili
  • Chili dogs (ESP GoldStar....hollllllllerrrr!)
  • Sonic Chipotle Breakfast Burrito
  • Bacon
  • a bacon-onion concoction I make (saute onions with chopped bacon and butter; mix in vinegar and sugar until caramelized...like WHOA, Holy deliciousness, Batman!  I put it on tacos, sloppy joes, fajitas, you name it....deeeeee-lish---ussssss!!!!!)
  • steak
  • low country broils (shrimp, sausage, potatoes, corn, crawfish...does it get any better?!?)
  • Zesty Foil Potatoes (see my recipe HERE)
  • BBQ Bacon Meatloaf (see my recipe HERE)
  • BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger Biscuit Cups (see recipe HERE)
  • Fajitas (see my unique recipe HERE)
  • Buffalo Chicken dip
  • Corn dogs
  • My Bacon Jalapeno Dip (see recipe HERE)
  • Chocolate Chip Dip (see recipe HERE)
  • Cocktail weenies
  • "Joey Bag of Donuts" (burrito from Moe's)
  • Donuts in general
  • Beer (I love it all...seriously, if you took me to a place where I could sample kind after kind from all walks of life from around the world, I would be in heaven - Like, I think I could deem you my soulmate from there on)
  • Whiskey
  • Mojitos
  • nachos 
  • a goooooooood cheeseburger (and you KNOW what I mean...none of this McDonald's half-ass crap)
  • Mama Suz's stuffed banana peppers
  • Suz's chicken n' dumplins (seriously, in high school, all my friends loved my Mom's cooking and on any given night where she was cooking one of their favorites, you most definitely COULD expect to see them at our table as well)

  • and finally (and most importantly)... NUTELLA!

So, yes, I WILL be watching what I eat...but as you can tell from my list from above, I most definitely have some deterrents and will be giving myself a cheat day or two every now and again and again (and again and again) because being comfortable in my skin is what's most important.  Am I happy with my body now?  Hellllll no, but I'm not selling my soul to rid of things I love.  I have meltdowns in store dressing rooms, I cry about my body, I do not feel as sexy to my husband as much any more and I most certainly do not love what I see in the mirror, but I also will not be starving myself.  I LOVE spinach, lima beans, peas, green beans, bananas, apples, granola, lettuce, strawberries, grilled chicken and fish, oranges and such and will be eating them as much as possible, but I will most definitely not break up with the foods I love entirely either. Thus, I will not be quitting them, I will just be having them in moderation and must declare:


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