Take a moment and think of an old-school "school" building...like one you see in the good ole movies....waaaaay back when. What do you see? What images are symbolic and/ or synonymous with that iconic school? Hardwood floors? Brick walls? People that have been there for years and years to tell the tales of fond memories past? HUGE hallways? Several levels? Enormous picture windows? Carefully articulated architecture? Years and years of history characterized through decorative displays? Check...check...check...chhhheeeecccckkkk yes, yes, yesssssss to allllll of the above for my new school! It. is. the. most. perfect. school. ever. From the moment I walked in the doors, I was head over heels in love. Most people know that I love all things vintage. I love things that have a story and tell a story in and of themselves. While these things may be old, their age paints a better picture for me and I think they are beautifully unique and uniquely beautiful. To me, vintage equals charisma. This school foots that bill and then some. It IS all that AND a bag of chips too and I absolutely could not be happier. But most of those things are all exterior...and truth be told, when you get down to the heart of the matter, none of that really matters - what matters is how I feel about being there and how I feel when I'm there...and let me just tell you, I feel great!
All of the heartaches, worries, fears, angers, tears, and anxieties up until this point have been worth it because I have been led here to my current location and can say with 100% certainty that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be. It is a breath of fresh air and it. feels. exquisite! The school is perfect, the kids are amazing, the teachers are captivating, and the people are the nicest, kindest, and most considerate, caring, and HONEST human beings I've ever been around in one place. To say it feels like heaven is an understatement. I just accepted the job Monday, but I already feel like a wave of calm has settled over me and I can finally breathe; it is exhilarating and refreshing.
On that note, it must be said: being away from my precious boy is certainly not easy and I honestly didn't think I could do it as the thought alone made me sick, but I know now that loving where you are and who you work with can really help those anxieties subside. I am proof of that matter because I have left him in the care of my mom and I have survived...and so has he. Obviously, I have a deep comfort with my mother keeping Jack during the day, but also having loving, caring, supportive, and understanding people you work with increases that comfort level tenfold. I know without question, that I would most definitely NOT be feeling this way about leaving my sweet babe if I were to still be at my most recent school prior to this. The negativity, insecurities, judgments, paranoia riddled atmosphere, micromanaging, insensitivity, bullying, and overall lack of consideration for and understanding that others have lives outside of work would have been a cancer to my emotional and mental stability at this time. I know, right? How could anyone be expected to thrive in that surrounding? I could not handle ALL THAT and leaving my boy too...it'd be far too much. Naturally!
My new work environment is none of those things. The people are understanding, they are supportive, they are laid-back, they are caring, they are helpful, they are encouraging, and most importantly, they are so considerate and non-judgmental of others. Thus, I can say with absolute certainty, everything happened EXACTLY how it was supposed to. I am actually grateful for where I am and have come to realize that a favor was done for me in losing my job. I...(yes ME)...I got lucky. I have moved on to bigger, brighter, and farrrrr better. The whole past few months, I kept thinking how things were really pretty crappy (and truth be told, that happening always will be), but now it's all in perspective because I can assure you that I am so, so happy! THIS is precisely what I need and where I should be at this juncture in my life. I get to love my sweet babe AND love my sweet job! Nothing seems sweeter to me :)
To all of you who reassured me that God has a plan for me...you. were. right! Thank you for reminding me of the purpose and for helping me to keep the faith. You helped me stay on the path to here and I am so appreciative. Would I trade the heartache? Yes. Could I go without the incessant worries of the future financial stability of my family? Yes. But could I go through it all again to be exactly where I am now? Absolutely. Life is good.
...and it's good because I am where I'm supposed to be :)
Yay! SO happy for you.
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