reassessing...

As I sit here on this gray and gloomy Friday, I can't help but think of the many blessings in my life and how incredibly lucky I am.  My adorable son is squealing with delight as he admires the sight of the "baby in the mirror" while he "works-out" in his gym.  Normally, on a day like today, my "tanorexic" self would be down in the dumps about the lack of sun exposure...yet the new mommy me is secretly grateful because it gives me an excuse to play and snuggle with my babe all day long.  There's absolutely nowhere else I'd rather be and I wish I could stay doing this FOREVER.  This tiny tot is insatiable.  He is extraordinary.  He is beyond amazing... and trust me, he most definitely thinks the reflection of himself is quite the sight for sore eyes too.  It's hilarious!  He gives himself "the eyes" and I can't help but laugh at his laughs and delight.  In all actuality, his presence takes my breath away and I wonder, how did I get so lucky to be his mommy?  What did I do to deserve this exquisite gift of life?  I've never loved 13 pounds so much and I have to be the most blessed person on the face of our earth!

having a pow-wow with Harvey

Truth be told, these feelings of today's reflections have finally resurfaced and oh how I welcome their return!  It's not that they haven't been there or flown the coop, they most definitely have been with me, but shamefully (and admittedly), I've spent the past 11 days since my last post feeling sorry for myself and tremendously apathetic about the unsure future lying ahead.  I've never been so unclear about what is to come next and it's suffocating, defeating, and all encompassing.  Sadly, these negative feelings have almost consumed my every thought like a nightmare that won't end.  They're inexplicable and I cannot escape them. I still have no job and seemingly no prospects on the horizon.  What's worse is, now I can't help but endlessly worry about continuing to be able to provide everything this little life needs, deserves, and depends on me for.  He deserves all that is good and wonderful in the world and while my capacity to love has only increased infinitely since his conception and eventual birth, our source of financial security and comfort is slowly (but surely) dissipating.  Yes, Brad has a wonderful job, but it is not completely enough to be the sole support of our precious family of 3.  Time is winding down and life as we once knew it seems to be slipping away.  I've had some glimmers of hope that led to dead ends, and now I'm having to consider other alternatives because I have to have a job.  Where do we go from here?  What do we do?

I'll tell you what we do, I will continue to keep my feelings of gratitude and blessings in my heart and always at the forefront of my mind as they are the fuel that power my days and keep me going.  Feeling sorry for myself gets me nowhere but negative town and Jack deserves a Mommy at her best 24/7.  Things could be worse and I will be grateful for what we do have: each other AND a perfectly healthy, beautifully awe-inspiring, growing, delightful baby boy that's our breath of fresh air everyday.  Even if we have nothing else, we have him.  Even if I do not currently have a job, I have a son and HE gives me the best job in the world...MOM.   So I'm going to live for the blessings that I have in him and in my supportive, faithful, inspiring, and loving husband.  I'm going to count these blessings and give thanks to our almighty God each and every day for the things He has given me and he has given us.  Even while everything may not be going the way we intended, they are going the way God intended.  And while I may not be sure of His reasoning and His plans for me, I take comfort in knowing that there is a purpose and things will work out some way, some how.  In the meantime, I thank everyone for your continued support and well wishes (you're so amazing!), but I do also ask for your prayers for us.  I ask for your prayers for us: in continuing to find strength, in keeping consistent faith, in me finding a job, in having comfort and being at peace with His plans, and continuing to summon courage even when the going gets tough and all hope feels lost.

at Cheeks and Katie's wedding 7.13.12

Here are some pics that have had me counting my blessings:

Raise your hand if you love Mommy!

assessing the situation.  His slippers from Aunt Katie finally fit!

ALWAYS chewing on those fingers!

yup, wedding #2 of that weekend and we wore the same outfits...HA!  I guess I'm a new woman because I usually would not agree to such "absurdity"...tee-hee

Cousin Shawnee made him a hat at Vacation Bible School

straight chillin' watchin' some cartoons :) He looooooooves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

look who's sitting up like a big boy in his high chair! And he has to be strapped in because 1) it's attached to our oh so very high barstool, and B) because our strong boy is constantly trying to lean forward and sit up even more...goofball!

my boys - they're two of a kind ("workin' on a full house") :)

is he not a man already?  Geez!  Oh and he also loves "Wheel of Fortune"

he LOVES his Papaw!  Mamaw sent us this pic as we were away at a wedding and our first overnight away

soooooo happy Mommy and Daddy were back after our overnight trip!

always a chipper chipmunk!

My rock!

he's got the nudey booty!

impromptu photo session - I couldn't resist!

hanging out with my fabulous friend, Christie, Jack's BFF Holden's mommy...love, love, loooooove her!

a rainy day equals a snuggly day with Mommy...and Jack in his dinosaur slippers!

FINALLY a date night...an OVERNIGHT date night AND, the first of TWO date nights that weekend!!!  Woooo hooo!!!  Look out world, THIS Mommy and Daddy are back in action!

reassessing the slipper situation

reunited with an old friend from college - Kliney...he's magnificent!!!

we had a fabulous time at Peach and Laura's wedding, but we could not wait to get home to our little man!

 

THIS face...

...is 14 weeks old tomorrow
...is an equal opportunity "finger suckerer" - it gets poked by all fingers pretty much every day because the little boy underneath it can't seem to pick a favorite to stick with

...inspires me to "keep the faith" even when I feel all hope is gone (truth be told, this job situation [or lack thereof] is really trying, but most of all, it's beyond incredibly defeating.  I get overwhelmingly, wholeheartedly discouraged and at the times where I feel worthless, rejected, and unwanted, I am reminded by THIS very face, that I am none of those things to him).

...inspires persistence and dedication

...is why I get up in the mornings
...is the cutest face I've ever seen.  Seriously.
...represents the greatest gift I've ever been given
...has made and continues to make me a better woman, wife, daughter, and friend
...challenges me more than I've ever been before
...is my constant companion...everywhere we go...and I. L.O.V.E. I.T.
...is the light of his Mommy and Daddy's world
...is EVERYTHING
...shows that anything is possible
...prefers the ladies
...is a flirt
...is so humbling
...LOVES his mama
...LOVES his daddy
...is worth every single worry we had during the pregnancy
...is stubborn (like his Mommy AND Daddy...however, Daddy will say it's only Mommy that is but we all know that he's WRONG)
...tests my patience.  Daily.
...can be so, sooooo frustrating, yet so wonderful at. the. same. time.  How is that possible?!?
...makes me an even bigger worry-wart than I was before it was here
...makes me nervous some "little floozy" is going to make it cry some day
...makes me want to hold it and love it and protect it FOREVER
...is grumpy when it wakes up
...brings out the best in me
...represents all the good that I have to give
...looks just like his Daddy...BUT...
...also looks like my dad at some points (in some pictures, mind you)
...represents an indescribable love
...represents happiness
...represents fulfillment
...represents the idea that dreams really do come true
...changes every day
...is the face of a boy who rolls over
...kept his eyes closed (asleep) for over 11 hours straight last night
...sleeps mostly through the night [almost] every night 
...has about a two hour "awake time" before he needs a rest again
...has eyelashes for days
...is a lover not fighter
...is the best accomplishment of my life
...has made me more cognizant of my actions and the role model I wish to be
...has made me more responsible
...makes me realize that there are people in your life who once mattered, but don't anymore...and that's okay.
...encourages me to "let things go"
...makes me more mature
...is the best job I've EVER had
...is one in which I would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for to see it smiling
...has the most warming and rewarding smile I've ever seen...it ILLUMINATES and RADIATES!
...lets out the most contagious giggles
...makes every day a good day
...is missed the minute I'm not around it
...is the face of a boy who sticks out his little bottom lip when he's sad and/ or upset
...takes a picture every. single. day. to send to his Mamaw so she can see him grow and change with time
...represents that I. AM. A. MOTHER.  The only thing I've ever truly known that I want to be
...is loved with the greatest love I've ever been capable of giving and then some.

3 months old!

Today, July 3rd, 2012, our little Jackrabbit is 3 months old!  It's also his 13 week milestone as well!  I hate the cliche of saying time goes so fast with the babes, but it really is so, so true.  I can't believe it's actually been 3 months since I gave birth, I can't believe my son is already 3 months old, and I can't believe we've been parents for 3 months!  It's all crazy!

To celebrate, Jackbaby has decided it's time to lose his hair...yup, his FULL head of hair from birth is no more; our boy is going bald, and with cat-like speed and reflexes (TommyBoy reference for you folks this Tuesday). It started about 2 weeks ago and has had a rapid fallout since.  My mom said my aunt's did this when she was little and grew back in blonde...thus, her guess is that the same thing may happen to our guy.  Whatever color or texture, bald or not, we still think he's just precious :)


**Also, on some of the pics you'll see...he was sooooo, soooooo happy and super smiley...until the flash of the camera..ha!  Figures, huh?  Each time it flashed, he would lose his big gummy grin...so enjoy anyway, knowing our son is not actually Oscar the Grouch he may appear to be**

love, love, looooooove this pic!

Stats - Jack Robert Thomas - 3 months

Weight: slightly over 12lbs (we didn't go to the doctor this month so this is our guess)

Height: 23 1/2" (this is from us measuring so it may give or take a few centimeters, but he's up an inch and half from last month!!!) 

Head: 40cm

sitting up...and NOT falling over!!

LIKES/ DISLIKES: likes his new "LeapFrog" activity chair...wait, he actually LOVES it (but more on that later); likes playing in his gym; likes sitting at the table in his high chair with Mommy and Daddy as we eat dinner; likes to smile, laugh, and make noises; likes sitting up in his "Bumbo"; likes pushing up on his arms when laying on his stomach; likes baths and is also liking lotion now...yay!; HATES laying on his back if not in his gym; dislikes getting his diaper changed if it takes too long; HATES having hiccups; LOVES his fingers which coincidentally, he sucks on all. the. time.  And it is SO, SO, SOOOOO loud!!!

in the midst of "the bicycle" - he does this when he's super happy and in a delightful mood :)

FIRSTS: rolled over!  3 times just last night!  Up until then however, I said that it was not true because Mommy didn't see it...only Daddy did.  ha!  But he did it last night for me and I was so excited...as was he with seeing and hearing my happiness. Also, Jackbaby FINALLY got to meet his Uncle Roo and Aunt Amanda!
He also had his first: time in the pool (loved the heated one at the Blanks and a warmer incident at Nanny and Poppy's, but hated it another time there because it was cooler - this was around those days in mid-June where it got cooler at night...ya know, before the EXTREME heat?!?); Father's Day with Daddy; birthday celebration (it was Papaw's 60th - read about that, Daddy's first Father's Day, and meeting Uncle Roo HERE); holding himself up on his arms for a lonnnnnng time; sleeping through the night (yesssss!)

there's my boy :)

CLOTHES: all 0-3 months (he's outgrown his newborn clothes); and in some brands, he's a size 3-6 month (has anyone else noticed how Polo runs considerably smaller? Our guy can almost wear 6 months in it!)

talking up a storm to Mommy...apparently, he slept well :)

DIAPERS: size 1 (we prefer Huggies over Pampers now too)

MOVEMENT: we are ROLLING OVER!!!  See the video (below)...it is a recent development and I just saw him do it for first time last night. "Apparently" he rolled over on Saturday...  HA!  I know he did, I just wouldn't admit it since he seemed to do it for Daddy and Nanny and not for me!  That first time happened after a very scary incident at Nanny and Poppy's - Jack sleeps in a cradle that used to be at my Nana's for all of us grandkids...well, the bottom dropped and naturally, our baby went crashing to the floor below!  It freaked me out...no wait, I was hysterical!  He was too, but thankfully, he was just fine.  Everybody was instantly inside (we were all out by the pool), loving on him and fussing over him too, as well as making sure all was back to being well and wonderful.  I changed his diaper and then went to wash my hands in the kitchen and he rolled over with Daddy right there!  It freaked him out that he did it though, and wouldn't repeat it again that day.  Luckily, he did it 3 times in a row last night while Mommy and Daddy were both watching and Daddy had the video rolling!
He also moves his little arms and legs so, so much..especially when he gets excited.  He kicks his legs so much and so hard, that it looks like he's riding a bicycle.  And, when we hold him by underneath his arms, he'll push down on our legs or the surface beneath them...thus, his reflexes are good and his strength seems to be developing well!

TRICKS: He is getting so, so good at holding up his head.  We can put him on his stomach and he will instantly push up on his forearms and just look around the room and interact with us and things around him.  It is so fun!  (See pictures and read about that by clicking HERE).  He now also bats at things in his gym and on his activity chair and will track people with his eye and head movement.  Jack smiles, laughs, and ooos and coooos all. the. time...especially in response to things he likes.  It is so refreshing seeing him respond to things and get excited about stimuli in the world around him.  

he loves his Harvey :)

PERSONALITY: Jackbaby is such a sweet little guy and WOWZA, what. A. flirt!  Holy moly!  Seriously, watch out, ladies.  He is so animated and smiley and lights up a room.  Our Toots is just so funny and so easygoing and typically only gets upset when he's hungry, or close to bedtime, when he's overstimulated and just super tired and "over it".  We really couldn't have dreamed of having such a good baby and are counting our blessings daily!

EATING: breastmilk (that I've pumped): about 4 ounces every 3 hours and almost 5.5-6 ounces at bedtime.

CHANGES: I've started this new section to note changes I've seen in him since the last month, appearance wise.  Obviously, he is losing his hair.  Also, his eyes are looking more and more blue - a dark blue, but they're blue!  His hair is much lighter than it was at birth and he has quite the little thunder thighs :)  I used to be able to fit my hand around them and now, it's not even close...which I LOVE!  I even have a hard time fitting my hand around his calves...HA!  Just evidence of our growing little buddy and he is just perfect in every way!

SLEEPING: Jackman has gotten even better in the sleep department!  He sleeps at least 6-8 straight hours at night and 2 nights in the past 4 days he has slept 10 STRAIGHT HOURS (from 8PM - 6a.m.).  His naps in the day can dictate if he's up in the night, so we are trying to fine tune that schedule as well.  Somedays, he'll nap for 3 straight hours (which is nice for Mommy getting some sun!) and I'll still have to wake him up to eat, but then he may be up around 3ish (give or take) in the night.  If he takes several short naps in the day, he'll sleep through the night, but that makes getting things done during the day quite difficult because he is unpredictable as to when he'll sleep or wake up.

haha!

SCHEDULE: same schedule as I listed on his 2month update, but we are trying to get his naps and such figured out so we have a nice balance and consistency.

NICKNAMES: Toots; Bubby; Cookie Monster; Jackman; Jackbaby; Baby Jack; Booger (this is what his Prissy calls him)

FUN FACTS: Jackman has a new activity chair that he wholeheartedly ADORES!  It is so precious to see, because as soon as I put him in it, he will start kicking his legs like crazy and squealing because he is so, so excited!  He coos and ooooos and talks, talks, talks to the lights in the mirror that comes up over the chair.  He is also noticing mirrors and the "baby" in them and loves to see himself.  Let me tell ya, my child thinks he is absolutely gorgeous...ha!  Jackbaby has also survived TWO (yes, two) drops from the cradle so now Poppy and Uncle Roo have rigged it quite well and it has NO chance of falling again...THANK GOODNESS!  He also has quite the oh so precious little "Buddha Belly" and the longest, most flirtatious eyelashes...yet again, from his Daddy (and something IIII wholeheartedly adore about them both!)

oooo...what's that?!?  (my phone rang)

WHAT'S COMING UP ON OUR SCHEDULE: 

Nanny's 60th Birthday (July 14th); 

Cheeks and Katie's wedding on July 13th (Jackman will be staying with the g'parents); 

Peach and Laura's wedding on July 14th (J will be staying with the g'parents or the Carpenters); 

The Carpenters (Aunt Beth and Uncle Kody) closing and moving into their first home (July 12th)

Brit Friddle's wedding on July 20th (Toots will be staying home with Daddy); 

the 4th of July (no fireworks though, because of the drought-like conditions...boooo!); 

Aunt Sis's (Christi) Birthday (July 25th)

Mommy and Daddy's 4th anniversary (July 26th); 

Daddy's 30th birthday (on August 5th, but we'll be celebrating with his friends earlier - in July!); 

the Olympics! (July 27th)  

...A LOT, actually! WHEW!

More pics of our Silly Willy on his 1/4 year birthday...

see his "Buddha Belly"?!?

love his little face off!

As Queen once sang, "Bicycle, bicycle...I want to ride my BIIICYCLE!"

I'd be disgruntled too if my hair was falling out...tee-hee, just makes him look more like his Poppy!
(whoops, did I say that out loud?!?  Sorry Pops, didn't mean to call attention to that)

"Mom, where's my stinkin' lights?!?"

WARNING EYES: "Mother...we've been over this time and time again...you KNOW how I feel about being on my back"

takin' a rest - it's not easy with the paparazzi always on your booty...

tiiiiiiiimmmmberrrrrrr!

we call this his, "wait...what?!?" face.

he loves when Mommy blows tummy bubbles